Thoughts

Yixing has a habit of speaking his thoughts out loud. Sometimes.

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Thoughts
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A scrunched up nose and eyes boring on his paper. Face full of concentration and buried on his notebook. Lips pouting and puckered.

Yixing thinks it is cute. Jongdae groans in frustration and sends a glare at the Chinese dancer sitting across him, less than a feet away, their knees touching.

“Jiu.”

Jongdae looked up and huffed, ignoring Yixing’s amused smile. “That’s what I said. Jiu.”

Yixing shook his and tsked. “No. Jiu.”

“I know. Jiu.”

“No, Jiu. Jiu.”

Jongdae didn’t really see what’s the difference but decided to humor Yixing, ignoring the exaggerated complains from the latter when he started spitting saliva everywhere.

–

He has that habit of skipping some steps. Or maybe he was simply not fast enough to follow. It wasn’t stiffness nor being uncomfortable with his skin. He has confidence. He is just simply not a dancer.

Yixing thinks at least it’s not worse than Kris.

“I heard that,” Kris grunted.

Yixing simply smiled sheepishly before turning back to Jongdae practicing the same step over and over. He looks like a crab. A cute crab.

“You’re doing it wrong,” Yixing said.

Jongdae stopped and looked at him.

Yixing did the steps. One, two, three. The arms should be outstretched and snapping. Think wolf’s mouth snapping. With teeth. He curled his fingers into something like fangs and hit harder.

“That’s what I did.” Jongdae pointed out, a bit confused and frustrated. He did the steps again. One, two, three.

Yixing shook his head. “No. Like this.” One, two, three.

“I know.” One, two, three.

Yixing shook his head again and repeated. Jongdae honestly didn’t see what’s the difference. Kris too. But Jongdae humored the Chinese dancer and kept repeating the steps. He ignored the nagging pain his arms were screaming because it’s been raised too long.

–

There is something about surreality. There is something how people get swept to great things, the something that catches their breath, like adrenaline surging as the roller coaster plunged a ninety degree drop. Like falling.

The silence and aftermath always consumes. Sometimes it is simply too much.

Yixing thinks maybe Jongdae misses home.

“Of course I miss home,” Jongdae rolled his eyes.

Yixing hummed and continued looking at the ceiling. He would prefer the stars more because it is romantic that way. “Do wish otherwise?”

“No.”

“Yes, you do.”

Jongdae looked at him, frowning. “No, I don’t.”

“Yes. You do.”

Jongdae snorted and decided the stubborn answer is not worth it. He closed his eyes and lie down on Yixing’s lap. Maybe things could be a bit better. Like being close to home. Like being able to actually speak. See his friends.

Maybe. But Jongdae doesn’t think like that. Plus, Yixing’s lap is nice.

–

It was midnight and Jongdae is still not back. Yixing was sitting at the couch, back straight, legs crossed and hands perfectly folded on his lap. His eyes never left the door.

The knob turned and Yixing finally blinked. Kris stepped inside. Yixing frowned slightly but beamed when Kris looked up at him.

The taller man scoffed and rolled his eyes at Yixing’s strained smile and too stiff sitting position. “You look ridiculous.”

Yixing sighed. “Where’s Jongdae?”

“Where’s– weren’t you listening to last morning? Jongdae and Minseok will be staying at the K’s dorm tonight.”

“Oh.”

Yixing was a bit upset Jongdae didn’t stopped by to say goodnight.

Kris groaned. “You sound like a clingy girlfriend.”

–

Jongdae had this really cute smile on his face and his eyes were shining. Jongdae practically hovered over the older male. Jongdae kept holding his hand, patting his shoulders, and hugging him from behind. The moment they were called for a photoshoot, Jongdae was immediately sitting next to him.

Too bad the older male wasn’t Yixing.

Yixing stared as EXO K’s leader Joonmyun was busy fussing over his members and Jongdae was almost bouncing right behind. Yixing pouted slightly. Honestly, Jongdae is acting a bit too–

“Too what?”

Yixing snapped out of his thoughts and saw Luhan looking at him. There was a small smile playing on Luhan’s lips but it was too subtle for Yixing to decide if it meant anything or not. “What what?”

Luhan’s smile became more apparent. “Jongdae is acting a bit too what?”

“… I forgot.”

Luhan laughed softly. “Why am I not surprised?” He watched what Yixing was looking as well. Jongdae was dragging Joonmyun somewhere now. Luhan hummed. “Jongdae is acting a bit too cute.”

“Cute?” Yixing’s voice was far away, too distracted how Jongdae’s hand was clasping strongly on Joonmyun’s, how Jongdae kept looking back and would pout at Joonmyun, how Jongdae…

“Yeah, too cute at Joonmyun.”

Yixing find himself nodding absentmindedly. Luhan was right to some extent. Because Yixing thought Jongdae is always cute.

–

Ten pairs of amused eyes staring at him was not what Yixing expected to end up but he figured it would have to do. Plus he didn’t think he would get the chance again (which was wrong because Yixing always have time to spend with Jongdae alone).

“Hi.”

Yixing heard a choked laugh coming from Jongin followed immediately by a hard punching sound and a groan from the same man. If Yixing took a glance, he’d saw it was Kyungsoo who punched.

Jongdae raised his brow slightly. “Hi..?”

Yixing nodded.

Jongdae looked at Yixing expectantly. Yixing stared back, enjoying the undivided attention from Jongdae. Ten other pairs of eyes looked at the two staring at each other. Thirty second later and Sehun groaned in frustration. “Will you two just kiss already?!”

If Yixing glanced away even for just a second, he’d see Baekhyun and Chanyeol stifling their laughter, Jongin and Sehun running away from the wrath of Kyungsoo (something about sensitivities), Joonmyun trying to calm Kyungsoo down, Luhan, Xiumin and Tao passing around money for their bets, and Kris trying to count to ten to get his sanity back. But Yixing didn’t glanced away and all he saw was Jongdae.

Jongdae pinked and stiffened standing. Yixing thought that was the cutest and most adorable look on Jongdae. And he would like to see it again.

“What?!” Jongdae’s voice was one octave higher and his eyes wide at Yixing for blurting such an embarrassing thing.

“You’re cute,” Yixing smiled. The words felt nice and warm as it left his mouth.

Jongdae’s mouth hang open. Then he laughed and the tension broke and his blush was gone and he was smiling and shaking his head in amusement. When Yixing frowned and was about to ask what was funny (Jongdae knew he would ask because he always asks whenever Jongdae laughed), Jongdae took Yixing’s hand, laced their fingers together and walked them out of the chaos of ten people. Jongdae mumbled something about idiots but Yixing was too happy to bother listening plus Jongdae was smiling when he mumbles.

Yixing thought it was nice when Jongdae was back smiling and talking like the awkward never happened. That the only thing happened was the warmth and how Jongdae walked closer by his side, how their hands held each other a bit more, and how they were together the rest of the day.

This is nice, Yixing thought.

“Of course it is,” Jongdae laughed replying.